"Be where your feet are at".
A client of mine shared this with me recently and I love it.
It is hard to maintain a focus on the present moment. It is especially hard when we are anticipating, "shoulding" and reacting to all the emotions of life.
When we think about all the things we "should be" doing, we are anticipating the future. This makes us feel anxious.
When we rehash & relive all the things that didn't go the way we wanted, we are in the past. This makes us feel stuck.
This is also when we might notice some of our negative self-talk creeping as we respond to all these feelings.
The more we can ground ourselves in the present moment, the more successful we will be with making progress. Progress through an issue, toward our goals and in our lives.
An example for me recently was with my schedule. You may have noticed that I am in Colorado this month with my family. My oldest son graduated high school and we planned a few weeks with the family before he is off to school! It is meant to be family time with a little work time sprinkled in and overall a chance to recharge since I started my business.
Thinking I would have plenty of time for everything, I overcommitted myself by agreeing to a client meeting on a day I already planned with the family.
The inner self-talk started...
"What were you thinking?"
"You should have said NO. You should be making the most of this time with your son."
"Way to disappoint everyone involve, including yourself. "
I added a sentence to what I was telling myself... "I messed up. AND I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE."
When you recognize that you are being a bit over critical with yourself, add this sentence to what you are telling yourself. It will help ground you back to the present moment -"where your feet are at" - and allow you to take the next step from there.
In my situation, the inner self-talk shifted...
"I recognize I need more practice saying NO."
"The desire I have to serve my clients is an admirable quality."
You’ll probably be surprised to find that the actual self-critique dissipates quickly and you can actually move forward with relative calm.
The goal is to acknowledge your feelings & recognize your inner voice without reacting or judging yourself. Embrace it and remember, "you are exactly where you are supposed to be".
Doing this will get easier each time!